Tame your demons with counseling help

“You just don’t have the right body type.” 

“You just have to eat less.” 

“They just have a better body.” 

Every day I was facing the same enemy, a reflection in the mirror that not only stole my smile, but created penetrating irrational beliefs in my mind. 

Rarely did the positive part of my brain overtake the side that was generating all of these toxic thoughts. Most of the time the enemy won and left me in a dark mood that stripped me of happiness and energy. 

After a couple of really low points, I decided that I needed to learn new ways to fight the enemy. I needed new weapons and ways of thinking outside the box. I knew the only weapon that could help me overtake the irrational beliefs was sharing my thoughts with a professional. 

Walking into the reception room of the counseling office and praying that I would be the only one waiting to see a professional was the most challenging part. My mom was my shield and sole form of self-confidence. I was taking the first step. I was admitting I had an obstacle and  I was ready for the challenge.

The first time talking with my counselor was very emotional and very different than anything I had ever done. I had a milk carton full of feelings and thoughts about myself that were like poison locked up inside of my head. Finally, I had someone objective who would listen and help analyze them. Once the lid was off, all of the feelings, thoughts and emotions spilled out. 

Soon enough, a flood of tears followed them. I didn’t feel scared or embarrassed to let them flow. I felt supported and cared for. 

After the first fearful experience, I looked forward to my appointments. The thought of knowing that I could express the demons in my head to someone who understands and cares was something to look forward to during the week. 

I walked out of the sessions with my head held high feeling confident in my body, myself and my whole life. This confidence wouldn’t last every second of my day. Often times my confidence and positive self-talk would drop as low as students’ motivation at the end of the school year. 

At those times I was often able to recall what my counselor told me to think about when I get in those moods. She would often say: 

“Don’t think about your body, think about all the people who love you.” 

“Your body is the vehicle that allows you to do the amazing things you do!” 

When the phrases my counselor guided me with and all of the things we discussed didn’t rush immediately to my head and beat the negative talk, I waited. I waited until the next time I saw my counselor and got more advice and support that would help me to develop into the strong and confident woman I am meant to be. I waited until one day when I can beat the demons in my head every damn time.

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