Self-exploration is something relevant throughout our lives. As people, we shape our lives and become better versions of ourselves through experiences and emotions. We all seek to gain a stronger sense of self, but it seems like such an odd thing to do. I think many of us neglect the time to connect deeper with who we truly are, and it’s important that we do so. I believe people have souls, and it is our job to radiate beauty and happiness within them.
I spend every other weekend out at my boyfriend’s dad’s house. At first, it was more of a “meeting the family” type of gesture, but it’s quickly become my escape from reality in which I have learned to be a more content person.
A couple blocks away from his house is the opening to a marsh used for nature conservation. It’s a vast area of beautiful forest, flowers and rolling hills of endless greenness. It curves and twists into paths that look like things straight out of movies, and it’s hard not to get lost in its entirety. Eventually it lets off to a dip that leads to a stream that extends for miles. It looks almost like the structure of a cave, and it’s absolutely breathtaking. Within the 10 minute walk it took to find the stream, the loud cars and fast-paced living disappears.
My boyfriend and I take his three younger sisters out there with us, and as I watch their innocent souls thrive and grow, I begin to have deep, self-reflective thoughts. As I stand and look out at the vastness, the world expands farther than what my eyes can see. There’s so much life and nature in front of me, it makes me realize the possibilities in the world are far greater than the box I have trapped myself in.
Spending time away from a buzzing city with people you hold close to your heart will open up a new world within yourself. My boyfriend’s sisters bring so much joy to my life, and as I watch them discover their personalities, I dig in my body to uncover who I am.
Life doesn’t offer us a break. We are constantly dealing with hardships and struggles that hold us back from our full potential at the end of the day. So, I think it’s important to sit back and clear our minds. I like to sit at the marsh and simply have a conversation with myself. I lose myself within the beauty of nature, and I let my thoughts spill out freely.
I also spend this time listening to the little girls talk about whatever they please to, and it brings a sense of innocence back into my life in which I lost a long time ago. I watch my boyfriend construct the wood and mud fort he’s been working on for months, and it fills my heart with joy watching him doing something out of passion. Sometimes roaming around a big city we lose our thoughts and sense of self because we fade into one another, but exploring places with people we love helps us digest what makes us different and unique.
I think the greatest thing I’ve learned is self-awareness. I am becoming more comfortable within my own body, and I am learning about who I am and who I want to be. I am aware of my actions and words and how they affect people; I try to act out of love and simplicity because I’m tired of adding pain onto myself and others.
I’m also more content with many things. My boyfriend’s dad has taught me to disregard people who think little of me. Opening your heart to new influences and people will change your life. Letting go of my fears and letting them drain away in a creek brings so much peace into my life, and although I still struggle with some things, I am able to cope in a healthier ways through self exploration. Whether or not people think I am worthy or pretty is over my head. The only thing that matters is how my soul looks to those who love me.
Nature is a wonderful thing. It’s more than trees, animals, flowers and air. It is life, innocence and beauty. If you can connect within it, anything is possible.
As we walked hand in hand back to civilization, love overcame the sadness that used to consume my heart.
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