The best dad jokes

These jokes are the best jokes. They’re horrible yet hilarious. Can you guess what kind of jokes they are? 

They’re the horrid Dad jokes that everyone knows and loves, but they’ll never admit it. 

Let’s start with a few more infamous ones. 

What do you call mac ‘n’ cheese that gets all up in your face? Too close for comfort food! 

If you think that one was bad, you better get ready for this one. Why wouldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired! 

Alright. This is the last warning you get. It’s about to get so much worse. Either click out now or get ready to cringe and laugh. 

Why do melons have weddings? Because they cantaloupe. What happens when you go to the bathroom in France? European. 

That is one of the more childish but hysterical either way. 

What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle? Attire. Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well, I’m not going to spread it. 

Why did the old man fall in the well? Because he couldn’t see that well! 

Now, here’s a few work-related ones to bust out in the breakroom. What do you call a factory that sells passible products? A satisfactory. 

Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer? He couldn’t see himself doing it! Want to hear a joke about construction? I’m still working on it. 

Now, a few for the kids! These are the ones that are so cringy that even our dads hate them. 

Did you hear the joke about the bacon cheeseburger who couldn’t stop telling jokes? It was on a roll. 

Student: Can I go to the bathroom? Teacher: No, it’s ‘may.’ Student: Actually, it’s January. 

Why was the coach yelling at the vending machine? He wanted his quarter back. 

Why do vampires always seem sick? They’re always coffin. 

Within minutes, the detectives knew what the murder weapon was. It was a brief case. 

To whomever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you. You have my Word! 

I’m so good at sleeping I can do it with my eyes closed! 

Spring is here! I’m so excited that I wet my plants. 

Are you still with us? I sure hope so. We’re not even close to being done yet! 

I thought about going on an all-almond diet. But that’s just nuts!! 

My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo, so I had to put my foot down. 

My friend says to me, “What rhymes with orange?” I said, “No, it doesn’t!” 

Are you clicked off of this article yet? If you’re not, props to you. It’s so cringy that my dad hates it but laughs at the same time. Here are a few more to suffer through, excuse me, enjoy! 

Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, “Do you know how to drive this thing?!” 

Hey, I’ll call you later. Don’t call me later, call me Dad! 

You might wanna smack me after this one, but here it is anyway! 

Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? He pasta way!